Staying true when the past (shadow) knocks

For years, I respected Russell Brand (the British comedian) who used his platform to speak against corporate greed, corrupt politics and dirty tabloids.

Speaking truth.

Through the years he interviewed many spiritual teachers. I wondered at the time if he was emulating the gurus rather than doing the work himself. Easily done!

Doing the work means meeting the past, the shadow, warts and all.

For Russell Brand the past came knocking last year. I won’t pass judgement on the allegations made. Russell Brand never hid who he was, watching him grow you could easily see his choices and priorities have changed.

Still the seriousness of the allegations clearly shocked. So shocking, he veered onto a new path – supporting far right evangelical Christians.

Now each to their own but come on! So sudden? An overnight change? Was he duping with his previous work.

I don’t think so.

The problem he faced and still does is one faced by all. The shadow follows. It’s difficult to face one’s own selfishness, loneliness and violence and to let it go.

I appreciate to do this he risked loss – audience and income. Not easy with a family to support. The sudden shift averted this loss.

Or did it? I’d say he made the biggest loss of all, himself. Nothing he says feels true now.

Why so difficult to stay true?

To be true means knowing who we are. Spiritual beings having a human experience.

If overly attached to mind, body or emotions, life becomes difficult.

Even in truth challenges come. Higher states of awareness are always invited. Though to achieve this means facing one’s own past and shadow. It takes courage.

Christianity (and other religions) may seem like a fast track to redemption.

Recent exposure of the church tells us that’s not always the case. Some of the most violent individuals in society are hiding out in the church…..

Or mosque, or chapel, or synagogue.

For the record I have no issue with Jesus or the Bible.

I get it, the church offers the possibility of redemption, of hope! But what if it’s not needed to meet the shadow/past and heal.

Bob Johnston knew this. He was a psychologist who worked with the most violent offenders in maximum security prisons. His results were so positive that challenged mainstream psychological thinking and practice. He was rewarded by being ousted from the profession and struck off the register.

Or the stories that in certain African tribes, when someone acts out, the tribe bring the person into the centre of a circle, the village surrounding. Then for the next 2 days, everyone talks good about that person. The belief that all people are good but have made a poor choice and crying out for help. The village take responsibility to help the individual remember their goodness.

Exposing personal violence may result in loss, temporarily. The unreal is being removed. Yet, this is how to stay true.

Authenticity, truth, finding a true voice, vitality, life force, peace, grace, god ……

Freedom. The rewards of staying true.

In the words or Sri Ramana Maharishi, “Your own self-realisation is the greatest service you can render the world.”

Until then the likelihood is contorting, bending and seeking validation from others. Regardless of faith.

How to stay true?

• Being open to feedback from loving and honest people. Some environments might feel good but lack an opportunity to grow. Seek those who’ll tell the truth.

• Look at triggers as this is where the growth is. Who and what is annoying about another is like a mirror reflecting. If someone is acting out and there is no emotion around the situation its likely healed within.

• Making sure joy comes from within and not dependent on anything or anyone external. Pleasure is not to be confused with joy. Pleasure and pain go hand in hand.

• Do the work. Spend time alone. Be comfortable with silence. (Read Cultivating Aloneness and Overcoming Fear)

• If struggling with something, deeper seek support as and when required. Although not to resist growth (Read The Key to Mental Health).

My experience has taught me the best people are not perfect people but those willing to face themselves and correct mistakes.

I have learned anger has a place and should be listened to. Although maturing, creating boundaries and communicating in a non-violent way when angry remains a work in progress :-)

Finally, it takes time to find the balance between self-love and being selfish! It can appear to others that you are being selfish when you start to love yourself. But self-love is expansive, and we touch others more in this space. In staying true you can give others the permission to do the same.

What do you choose?